Hair topper & androgenetic alopecia: the reaction of those around you after a week of daily wear.

I was diagnosed with androgenetic alopecia at the age of 20. Ten years later, as my insecurity grew and my scalp gradually became more visible, I decided to wear a hair topper for the first time to conceal my alopecia and finally move forward.

One of the things that made me most anxious was how the people around me would react. How would my family, my partner, my friends, and my colleagues at work respond?

First step: telling my family.

The thing I dreaded most was telling my parents that I’d decided to wear a hair topper. I was 30 at the time, but still quite young at heart, and I often needed their approval for my choices.

My mother reacted pretty badly. She kept telling me, “But you’re not really going to wear that! It’s for bald girls, Laure!” She said I didn’t need it and that I was worrying about my alopecia for no reason. To her, it was all in my head, even though she was the one who had first noticed my alopecia ten years earlier. To be completely objective, my alopecia was already quite advanced at the time, and considering a hair topper made perfect sense at that stage. I actually found out much later that my colleagues had noticed my alopecia and discussed it among themselves (it was humiliating to learn that).

My mother’s negative reaction made me realize that, to her, what I was considering was a shameful solution. So it took me about four years to dare to walk into a wig store. But one day, I realized that I was the one suffering from this insecurity every day, and that I shouldn’t keep waiting for other people’s approval before moving forward.

My partner, on the other hand, reacted really well. I think he’d noticed that I was losing my hair. He didn’t judge me and said he thought I looked fine as I was, but if this would help me feel better, he had no problem with it. Having his support in this decision was important to me. Looking back now, I don’t know if I would have taken the plunge if I’d felt he was judging me negatively.

After talking it over with him, I decided to make an appointment at the store for my first try-on. I took photos of myself wearing the hair topper. Then I showed the photos to my parents and my partner. They confirmed that it looked very natural and was completely undetectable, and encouraged me to take the plunge. Their approval made me feel good, even though I’d actually already made up my mind. I was going to wear a hair topper. I wish I hadn’t had to go to the store alone and that I’d felt truly supported through this step. But today I’m also proud to know that I was able to move forward on my own instead of waiting for someone to reassure me about my choices.

I get my first hair topper, then tell my closest friends about it.

After choosing my hair topper at the store, I decided to contact the brand about a partnership. I had a YouTube channel, and I thought it might be of interest to them. The upside for me was that I would get the hair topper in exchange for posting videos about the product. I have to admit that when I sent that email, I didn’t really think they would agree. I also thought I’d then have to be comfortable with my decision and appear publicly wearing a hairpiece, which was far from easy for me!

The brand agreed quickly. I then realized that some of my close friends followed my YouTube channel and would find out that I wore this type of solution to conceal my androgenetic alopecia. So I decided to get ahead of it and tell them myself. I thought they might take it badly if they found out at the same time as my subscribers.

I’m a very private person, so I’d never discussed this insecurity with my friends, despite the negative impact alopecia had on my quality of life. So telling them was very difficult for me. I was ashamed to talk about my insecurity and worried they would feel sorry for me. They might not know how to react, or might instinctively try to comfort me, which made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t want them to pity me. I spoke to one of my best friends with my voice trembling, while trying to sound casual. Trembling with shame and vulnerability. She reacted really well and didn’t judge me at all. I felt supported.

For another one of my friends, I handled it differently. I sent her a photo of myself wearing the hair topper on Messenger and asked what she thought of my new haircut and hair color. She said it looked great on me. So I told her it was a hair topper and that I was going to talk about it on YouTube. She said she’d never noticed my alopecia, but that the result looked really good.

My biggest fear: how my colleagues at work would react.

I decided to wear the hair topper for the first time when I returned from a three-week vacation. Talking to my colleagues about my hair topper was out of the question. So I was very anxious that they would notice my hairpiece. Showing up at work one day with three times as much hair is very difficult. You tell yourself that people are bound to notice.

My first hair topper was much blonder than my own hair. It wasn’t my choice. In fact, it was the only blonde model they offered me at the store. But the upside was that it helped divert attention. My colleagues mainly noticed that my hair color had changed. I remember one of my younger colleagues saying when I arrived, “Hi, Laure! Well, don’t you look all bright and cheerful!” Another colleague asked if I’d been to the hairdresser and said the new hair color suited me. She even touched my hair and asked if I’d straightened it, and I said yes (never contradict someone who’s wondering!).

The entire first week went really well. I remember regularly going to the restroom at work just for the pleasure of looking at myself and feeling beautiful for once. The hair topper was a major turning point in my life. There was clearly a before and an after. It helped me regain my confidence and feel beautiful again.

And what about you? How do you think things will go with your hair topper?

Women considering wearing a hair topper or a wig often worry a lot about how the people around them will react. They’re afraid people will realize they’re wearing a hair topper or a wig and make hurtful comments.

But in fact, it’s very rare for people to notice a hair topper, unless you’re already almost bald and your alopecia has already been clearly noticed by those close to you. In that case, yes, people may well realize that you’ve started wearing a hair topper. But with “typical” alopecia—that is, visible but not so obvious to others—people won’t notice anything because they aren’t analyzing the density of our hair every day. They’ll probably notice a change in your hairstyle, of course, but they won’t imagine you’re wearing a hair topper, since most people don’t even know hair toppers exist.

At Comme un diadème, I’ve been offering hair toppers to women with androgenetic alopecia for about 3 years, and I’ve never received feedback from a woman whose hair topper was noticed by those around her. On the few rare occasions when it was noticed, the alopecia was truly very pronounced (the person was almost bald on top of her head), and therefore obvious even before she started wearing the hair topper.

There’s another thing to keep in mind. After a few years, you’ll also understand that there’s nothing shameful about this product. We have the right to find a solution to a problem that makes us self-conscious and causes us a lot of distress. Who would judge that negatively? Should we make our choices based on what these kinds of people think? I don’t think so 😉

I now often find myself telling people I don’t know well—or don’t know at all—that I wear hair toppers. And I can assure you that it has always been very well received. You can see me talk about my solution with ease, confidence, and pride. And when people see that, they don’t feel like criticizing because they know it’s not about shame, but about restoring a sense of self.

And just so you know, my mother is now my brand’s biggest fan 😉

Watch the YouTube video from after a week of wearing my first hair topper every day to see my reaction at the time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gP1AzNDDk1M