Hair topper and wig: How to manage vacations with family or friends

Are you going on vacation with family or friends soon, and do you wear a hair topper or a wig? 😱😱😱

If they don’t know and you’re planning to spend a few days or weeks together, this can be a major source of stress for you, and that’s completely understandable. I regularly receive messages from women facing this difficult situation. You’ll find all my advice for handling it with confidence in this article 😊

First scenario: You REALLY DON’T WANT to talk about it!

If you have a room of your own—which I recommend if you absolutely don’t want to bring it up with your loved ones—you can simply take the hairpiece off when you go to bed and put it back on as soon as you wake up in the morning. If people are polite, they shouldn’t walk into your room unexpectedly while you’re asleep. And even if they did, I don’t think they’d be analyzing your hair at that moment. I’d still recommend putting the hairpiece away in a drawer just in case, because if someone comes face-to-face with the thing, they’ll figure it out very quickly (and might be startled by the sight of the fox 🦊😉).

If you don’t have a room of your own, I recommend sleeping with the hairpiece on. It won’t be the most comfortable because you’ll feel the clips a little, but it is still possible to sleep with a hair topper or wig. I’ve done it myself during unexpected naps, and it works out just fine.

As for the rest of the day, you can absolutely go to the pool or beach wearing your hair topper or wig. I do, however, advise against putting your head underwater. It’s best to avoid that as a precaution, because the base may be a little more visible when the hair is wet.

Second scenario: You’re hesitant to talk about it.

If you’re going on vacation with friends or family, they’re theoretically people close to you who love you. In that case, I can only advise you to talk to them about your hair topper or wig before you leave. If the people you’re going on vacation with are ready to criticize you for revealing one of your vulnerabilities, I can only advise you to stop going on vacation with that kind of person.

However, I don’t see things in black and white, and I completely understand that you may not always be that close to the people you’re going on vacation with (in-laws, your partner’s friends, etc.). But if you’re close enough to these people to agree to spend several days with them, they can know who you really are. You shouldn’t have to hide or impose restrictions on yourself 24/7 to be accepted or avoid possible negative judgment.

I know it’s not necessarily easy, and that it takes time to feel ready. Because of what I do, my in-laws and my partner’s friends found out that I wear a hair topper, even though I might not have told them spontaneously. So sometimes I found myself in situations where people who weren’t that close to me knew about my hair loss, when I would have preferred to avoid that. But I quickly realized that it was actually liberating for me.

So perhaps the fact that I wear a hair topper has been commented on. It’s almost certainly been mentioned, actually. Maybe the comments were negative, or maybe they weren’t—I’ll never know. But that’s not what matters. What matters is that I feel free to wear my hair topper or not, whenever I choose.

At first, I also made myself wear my hair topper in front of my family, even though they all knew I wore one. But then I was afraid to take it off a few weeks later, when I was invited to a meal or something else, and shock them if I sometimes allowed myself to show up “without hair,” or rather with 3 times less hair. Yet my family had seen me with alopecia for 30 years, so I don’t think they would have been that shocked after all.

But after a while, I realized that I didn’t have to decide whether or not to wear my hair topper based on what other people think. I wear it primarily for myself, whenever I want to feel more beautiful. And if sometimes I don’t feel like putting it on, I’m happy to spare myself that hassle. It doesn’t matter if people notice or think my alopecia is shocking, etc.

What matters is how we feel, not what other people think. Believe me, people don’t think about us when they’re doing their hair in the morning, so why should we?

A hair topper shouldn’t make you feel trapped—it should set you free!

A hair topper or a wig shouldn’t be something that makes you feel trapped, pushes you to hide, or imposes restrictions on you.

Some women, once they start wearing a hair topper, no longer dare to go out without one. I’m sure many of us go through this phase at first. I know that in these situations, what we’re trying to avoid above all is people noticing that there are times when we wear a hair topper or a wig.

First of all, people won’t see the difference. I know that may sound incredible, but I live with this every day, and I can assure you it’s true! But let’s say a very observant person notices that you have less hair on the weekend than during the week. What you need to try to tell yourself—and it takes time to get there—is that it’s okay.

Someone notices that you’re wearing a hair topper or a wig—so what? You’re losing your hair, and you wear a hairpiece. Just like thousands of women in France and elsewhere! You shouldn’t live your life or impose restrictions on yourself based on what other people think. A hair topper or a wig is for whenever YOU want to wear one. Whenever you want to feel more beautiful. You do it for yourself, not for others.

It’s easy to say all this, I know. It takes time to get into this mindset. It may take a few months, or even a year or two, before you feel ready to live more freely with your hair topper and alopecia. But the sooner you get there, the better you’ll feel.

You’ll also find that the more you have the product as part of your daily life, the less shameful and taboo it will seem. And once you’ve fully accepted the product, you’ll feel ready to live more freely with it. Only when you understand that there’s no shame in wearing this wonderful solution will you feel ready to talk about it—or to stop wearing it around those close to you.

Be proud of who you are!

Women who wear extensions aren’t ashamed of wearing them. If women with alopecia may feel ashamed to wear a hair replacement and talk about it, it’s because they unconsciously feel that they’re trying to conceal something. But if you openly tell people that you’re losing your hair and are wearing a product that helps you feel better, there’s no reason for shame or judgment.

Because you own who you are: a pragmatic woman who has found a solution to her problem! You’re not someone who hides or feels ashamed. You’re a woman who moves forward and dares to explore solutions that may not be the most obvious, for fear of potential judgment from society. Be proud of who you are and of the step you’ve taken, especially since this is still quite a taboo product.

If you don’t feel ready to talk about it today, that’s okay. Be kind to yourself and don’t force it. Don’t talk about it until you genuinely feel ready. You need to want to do it, and it needs to come from you. But remember that if the people around you are close to you, they’ll accept you as you are.

Thinking about getting a hair topper before your vacation? Here’s where to go:

If you’d like more information about hair toppers, wigs, and the different solutions available to help us cope with alopecia, you can find it here: